This I write as a request from one of my beautiful daughters, Tara.
Firstly, I should give you some understanding as to my statement. I should inform you up front that writing or speaking correctly the English language is not my forte. In fact, I would probably be seen as the arch enemy of the English language. However, what I do say, I say with conviction and with much passion and belief. I have been known to be very creative, when one word won’t suffice to my needs, I will create a new word possibly by combining parts of two words. Also, I am a strong believer in saying your point with the minimum of words; this may require on your part a guessing game as to the meaning of my statement, due to the lack of words. So my statement We as women…summed up exactly what I wanted to say.
Secondly, I should give you some background of myself, so you can better understand where I am coming from. I was reared by a very strong and determined mother. In many ways, in growing up she left me to my own resources. She was like a mother from another planet compared to the over protective mothers of modern day. I said at her funeral ” She was no normal mother” to the concern of the congregation who knew her, but to their relief I added “She was more a life coach than a mother.” Due to her I believe, I became a very independent boy, strong within myself with no need or desire to be part of the Mens Club.
I married very young compared to today’s standards as I was only 21 years old. I married because I needed a close relationship with someone, a mate you may say. Probably, not the best of reasons to get married. But worse still, I went into the marriage with the typical Brisbane boy mentality, of Male Superiority. I was boss, I made the decisions and of course they were always correct. I was very emotional, no good for the wife getting into an emotional argument with me, I would out do her on all fronts, until she gave in. After 10 years, she decided to leave which was probably the best decision for her and I (not that I would have said that at the time), but it was a real pity for my two boys, who I loved dearly. Family split up is never ideal. But we made certain the split occurred on the best basis as possible, and even though I gave my boys up to her, I was still very much involved in their lives.
Then my life took a change in more ways than I could imagine. Here I am at the age of 32, alone and with nothing to lose. I resigned from my secure government job, started up a new risky business needing a lot of capital which I didn’t really have, and tried to have a social life of some sort, when all I really wanted to do was cry over the loss of my boys. I poured myself into my business, but I could not stop the feeling that I needed a woman and badly. But fortunately going through a divorce, I was very weary of marriage. Things would have to be different; it is amazing how change develops out of adversity.
After much socialising I became attached to a wonderful lady who I did know from the government department where I had worked. It so happened that she also had gone through a break up and was in the process of divorcing. So when we got together, it was all about forgetting about the past and living for today, and letting tomorrow happen the way it falls. Neither of us thought that there was necessarily a long term future. So here I am forming a relationship more on friendship and with time there was the development of respect for each other. This in time grew into trust and I found that I surely had a friend who I could rely on to give me an honest opinion on various issues that confronted me. I knew she would not necessarily agree with my point of view but would use her own intelligence to make a decisive opinion on whether what I was saying made sense or was totally incorrect. I even bought a house with her and went into business with her as a partner. We came up with a clear demarcation of areas of responsibilities and we had an understanding as to whom had the final decision in matters. Either party could have opinions on all matters, but the one responsible for that area, made the final decision and the other party would go along with it totally. This system worked and well and still does today.
I would be lying if I said there were no times that we would have an argument over issues and also I would go into my old emotional ways. But to her credit, she would refuse to argue and not add fuel to the emotional state, just simply walk away from me as she made a statement. I was left with no one to argue but even better I was left with a statement to think on. So often she was right because she was using her brain and not her emotion. So out of all this, I started to really respect the capability of the female mind. Even more, I saw the benefit of the Scorpio lady that would tell you directly what she thought. I started hiring more Scorpio ladies in my business with great success.
After 30 years, I have come to be a great advocate of women, being an equal partner with man in the future of mankind. In fact, I strongly believe that the world’s future would be much better off by getting more women in leading our businesses and our governments. But it has to be under their unique terms, not under the terms of the male dominated world. I despise the way that too often Boards and even Political parties operate, where it is simply a Men’s Club that gangs up against anyone whether male or female who dares to not conform to the group ideals. They only want to maintain the status quo.
I can just imagine my partner (wife for over 25 years) saying now, “get to the point”. So now that you can understand the back ground, you maybe able to understand my logic, when something was stated on the TV news, and I raised my head and said, “We as women….”.I cannot even remember what was said on TV, but it was something that was denigrating the rights of women in my mind, and I was calling to action, my family(including myself) and all women, to stand up against such things. Well, I had my wife and daughters in a fit of laughter, but at the time could not understand what they were laughing at, I was just confirming that I was with them in their battle.
Especially now, the world has much to do if we are going to get over some of the massive obstacles in our way. There has to be many changes and I am a strong believer that if women came more to the fore front in the decision making, the world would be a better place. Australia has a female leader, but just look at it, there is a boy’s club behind the scenes pulling the strings. I want to see strong female leaders in their own right coming to the forefront and maybe we will see the changes that are needed to get the world working properly. Just imagine, if we had politicians elected and standing for the issues that affect their electorate and not being more concerned about the political party they represent and why have three tiers of government, when two could still do the job.
So we as women, let’s not sit back and accept the old attitudes, let’s start bringing the necessary changes and make a better world.